GM Exits Bankruptcy, CEO Vows Better Performance

"Talking Head"?

A leaner and meaner General Motors arose on Friday, making an unusually quick exit from bankruptcy with ambitions of making money and building cars people are eager to buy.

Once the world's largest and most powerful automaker, the new GM is now cleansed of massive debt and burdensome contracts that would have sunk it without federal loans. The U.S. government owns a majority stake - although the Obama administration says it has no plans to run the automaker (I would give anything to see Obams's face coined on the hubcaps of the new models).

At a news conference, CEO Fritz Henderson said the new GM will be faster and more responsive to customers than the old one and it will make money and repay government loans faster than required.

Henderson said GM completed its 40-day stay under court supervision far faster than anyone thought it could. He said it would repay about $50 billion in government loans ahead of a 2015 deadline.

The new GM will also build more cars and trucks that consumers want and launch them faster than in the past, the CEO said. (I think the guy will probably say just about anything).

"We recognize that we've been given a rare second chance at GM, and we are very grateful for that. And we appreciate the fact that we now have the tools to get the job done," he said. Yada yada yada.

The new company arose from the ashes Friday as the bulk of General Motors Corp.'s assets were transferred to a company controlled by the U.S. government.

He said Bob Lutz, a legendary industry executive, was "unretiring" to become a vice chairman responsible for all creative elements of products, marketing and customer relationships. Lutz had previously planned to retire at the end of the year after more than four decades in the auto business. (oh God please help us).

The automaker is launching a "Tell Fritz" Web site to allow owners and the public to share their concerns with senior management and he planned to go out on the road every month, Henderson said. (The question is: will senior management actually hear the concerns? Yea right).



"Business as usual is over at General Motors."


"We need to listen to the questions, ideas and the concerns of the people who matter the most," Henderson said.

"We all want to win and we are going to win," Whitacre said.

The company's logo will emain blue with white underlined GM letters. Henderson said GM has no plans to change the background color to green. "It's not in my plans actually," he said. GM has considered the change to represent its new environmental focus.

* Even thinking of changing the GM logo color to green has to be the biggest suck-up to Pelosi so far from the GM execs. (I would probably throw-up something green).



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Computers and GM

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".

In response to Bill ' s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........Twice a day.

2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single ' This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation ' warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask ' Are you sure? ' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

PS - I ' d like to add that when all else fails, you could call ' customer service ' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!

Good stuff!

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